I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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