Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
