Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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