the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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