We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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