I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
