i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hippo gnu deer
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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