a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
