so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
