I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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