i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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