i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
