Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
God I need to hump something, right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize