I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize