I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
