She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize