Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
