i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
