and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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