i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
