she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
