my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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