I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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