Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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