I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
