Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
