my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
His hands were made for my vagina.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
