I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
