It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sext me about skeletons
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
