Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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