Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
