Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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