my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
