Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
