I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
