Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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