she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
