Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you inspire me to be a worse person
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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