Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
