I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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