her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She bit a glass in half.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
