He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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