I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
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We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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