make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
