someone threw a dead crab at me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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