You made me cry and you don't even care
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize