I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
