He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
