Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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