U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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