guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i would punch a child for taco bell
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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