i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
