What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
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Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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