At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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