So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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