Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
