I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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