Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
